My Dancing Suegra: Debby Rosulek
By: Daniel E. Kramer
Dancing can save lives. It really can, and it has of mine. If it were not for dance, I would not be with my family today…and therefore, not likely in a very good place.
What is funny is that I am not a dancer, I never really have been one. I may be a hunter, a woodsman, a geologist, but I am certainly not a dancer. How did this one human activity, placed into Homo sapiens physical lexicon at the dawn of time come to change my life?
Debby is a Lady; a gentle and kind woman, one whom has grace and beauty. Mrs. Rosulek, a teacher to so many children through the years, bringing out the best in each of them. She is a mother of three, a daughter of Jim and Nancy Bailey. She is an artistic director, an amazing poet, an incredible chef, and a caring grandmother, mother, wife, and mother-in-law. However, what defines her is what is most relevant to this story; she is a dancer. Dancing is built into Debby’s DNA, her genes. Her very being is that of dancing grace.
I am writing this since it is her Birthday today, but it is high time I put to paper the feelings of gratitude that are often unsaid but are nonetheless always felt. You see, if were not for Debby I would not have a wife, nor children, nor the joy or happiness that lives with me. If it were not for this little dancer, I would have none of it.
Although I do not claim to understand the mysteries of the world, I do recognize that upon occasion there are events which seem to take my breath away. Strange coincidences are always abound, and it is in a somber but thankful way that I must acknowledge whatever or whoever is in the stars above. However, more importantly I must recognize Debby Rosulek, for she is the central part of the story. If it were not for Debby’s charming ways, I do not think that I would have met my loving wife.
The story starts 69 years ago when Debby was born. She was an immediate dancer, a ballerina from practically day one. If she had not danced, she would not have moved to Sweden in her 20’s. She would not have met her fiancé there, she would not have returned to the USA to meet Bob, and she would not have gone back to Sweden to break her engagement with this Swedish man. If it were not for dance, Bob might not have been so in love with her, so stunned by her. They married, they had children, and they began to live their life together.
Then (many years ago), Debby ran across a fellow dancer, a stunningly perfect match of a friend. Their common bond made for an instant connection. This woman, now the godmother to my wife, had at that time a love in her life. A perfect Swedish man (her husband), and to Debby and Bob, he added even more to this instant friendship. The days and years passed, and then in one sadly tragic moment, the Swedish husband was killed in an accident. Time passed. Slowly, surely, things changed, and the sadness lessened, but the man never was forgotten.
One day, Debby and Bob introduced their dancing friend to a young man that they well knew, and it was love. They were married. They were happy. However, they were missing one thing; children. They decided to adopt a young boy and girl from Chile. Debby’s dancing friend went abroad to meet and take care of the children, preparing them to come to Illinois. But while there, she had no one around. Being in a foreign land can be quite lonely, but she found her way to a local Ballet studio. It was a place just like she and Debby have loved so much through the years in Illinois. There she was loved and welcomed into Chilean culture, all through the lens of dance.
Eventually, she came home with her children, and they began to live their lives. The owner of the Chilean dance studio had a son, and he dreamed of visiting Chicago one day. A trip was arranged, and he made his way to live with the newly formed family in Illinois. To live with a Chilean is always exciting, but a teenage boy (pianist-comedian with charisma coming out of his ears) turned out to be a bit much for the new family. So he made his way into Debby and Bob’s hands. Perhaps it was the dancing that led him there too.
He inspired the family, and they loved him. Everyone took him in, but none more than Debby. She has always been a mother to the foreigner. Her brightness and sweetness a gift surely welcomed by the homesick travelers of foreign lands. They enjoyed his company, and he would play the piano while Debby danced. In having him there for that formative time, my wife was inspired to go abroad to Chile. You see, Debby always encouraged her children to travel, to keep a journal, to see the world and learn from those around them. She always taught them that no matter what they could always communicate, even if they could not speak the same language they could dance. This must have been something she learned while abroad in Sweden as a dancer. The universal language of all humans across the globe.
When Nancy was in Chile, she would dance as well, she would listen to her mother, and take chances, and meet people, and live and love, and embrace a foreign land as her mother had with Sweden. When my wife chose her college (where we met), she did so because it reminded her of Chile. She could have gone anywhere in the world, anywhere in the country. She could have gone to so many places, but she chose this one (University of the Pacific). How strange life is. Debby graced me with this story, and she changed my life. It started with Debby and her passion for that primordial ritual of dance. I have now known Debby for 15 years and been her son-in-law for ten. Over this wonderful time, Debby has never had a cross word with me, never looked at me in a strange light, never been unkind in any way whatsoever. She smiles, she loves, and she cares for all of us.
Today I sit, wondering why it all happened this way. So many things transpired along the way. Each step of the story had a fork in the road; the one where I never met my wife, and the one which led me closer to her. Why did Debby decide to choose Bob instead? Why did Debby and her friend meet that day? Why did her husband die? Why did she choose Chile for her adopted children? Why, why, why? I am a scientist, and I am not very superstitious, but for years I have thought about Debby, her dancing, my life, and how all of this somehow got tangled together.
I am so happy to have Debby in my life, thankful to her for it, and glad to have her as my friend. Thank you, Debby. You have given my family the best example of what a fine human being is. You have given so much to the world, moving through it like a dancer with grace and dignity.
